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Stressed about stress

In the wild, marijuana is a tough number, a prime example of survival of the fittest, hence the word ‘weed’. But in fact, it is a herb.

Today widely commercialised, weed has become ‘delicate’. You start trimming it – it goes into shock. You top it – it gets stressed. In pots, it soon gets rootbound and then needs to be transplanted, another nasty jolt to give it a funny turn. So confused with this battered handling, the poor plant loses all sense of its sexuality and tries to become both male and female. And who is responsible for this abuse?

The Grower. He or she then starts to imitate the plant. He becomes indecisive, overdoes this, underdoes that, hair turns grey or falls out and his mind becomes rootbound too. He then starts to panic and makes rash decisions and becomes a ‘rusher’ : rushes to cut, to top, to trim, to harvest, to dry and to cure. And there’s no cure for this rusher…
Apart from smoking the plant.


Seen and Heard

A warm September afternoon.
I have just seen a butterfly flit by, ever so slowly.
But it looked natural, casual, nonchalant, cool.
It just made me annoyed.
Why can’t I do that ? It’s like… only half of me works. If I were indeed a butterfly, the right wing would do nothing ! One of the problems being a lefty : one side is neglected. All my farts veer to the left.
I have just heard a faint noise, coming from outside, no doubt a lefty butterfly who’d just let one go. I wonder what these creatures eat, have never seen one eating. Some say they live a day. Not a lot of point being alive at all ! I eat to live. I’ve never eaten a butterfly. Well, one doesn’t, does one.
In a few hours, that farted out butterfly will have snuffed it. There will be no funeral. No other butterfly is going to give a damn and none will ever remember it ever existed.
So I, this lefty farter, who has never eaten a butterfly – am I any different ?
If there is to be a funeral, something out of my hands, will I be talked about ? Or will the conversation during the post-funeral luncheon turn to lighter things.
I think my farts will be remembered.
Very comforting !