Gapewatcher General

These are the words of the Gapanaut.
I suffer from endemic lust. I am plagued by an addiction. As a self-styled hornythologist, I indulge in frisky gropes and wily tickles on the G spot, ovary meddling, have intertwined with many a twat, glad into gullies, and plumbed the depths of many a slut. As a canny arseologist, I have excavated tons of tunnels which were secret until I discovered them. Being a solicitous sadist, and after cries to be “gentle with my membrane’, I did not plunge into the abyss, this devouring darkroom – no, not me. I’m not the sort of chap to ravage reclining cows, even when they deserve to be ravaged, which often happens after unseemly outbursts of dirty words.

Sometimes I’d prefer to do something else, like playing Scrabble.
But I feel I am on this planet for a specific purpose. So, despite my artistic leanings, I must accept I am the ordained guardian of female genitalia, admittedly, a tough number, but we all have our crosses to bear.


2 thoughts on “Gapewatcher General

  1. Scarlet

    Most of the time now I think I’d prefer scrabble too, anything but. No pun intended, or maybe a bit. How are you mate? Its been a while, I had a very dark patch but I think I’m recovering. Hope you are doing well ❤

  2. wopthedo Post author

    Hi M.
    Thanks for asking and thanks for commenting.

    Yes, we do through these bad spells. I can’t comment on yours, as I don’t know what happened, but am glad you turned the corner.
    I think I might spent my bolt re the writing. In the Summer, I invariably get cluster migraines which started in June. I keep a record, as instructed by my consultant. They are petering out, but since June I’ve had about 180. The only pain relief is oxygen. Naturally, I can’t stand noise, even music, when I feel like this. But I had to DO something, so I turned to writing.
    Now with the headaches easing off, I’m getting back to doing music again.

    Like you, I also found poetry hard going. But unlike you, I’m not terribly imaginative as I have a one-track mind!

    Please keep in touch, so nice to hear from you again.


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