Clearly Departed

I think I’ll have him cremated
Confounded faces all around
Of course I’ve cancelled the coffin
No place for him in the ground

Yes, it’s been a mangled morning
What with him going off so quick
But the wobbling was a warning
And the bucket he certainly did kick

I remember his jumbled jargon
His rattles and runs to the loo
It was clear what was happening
Fizzled farts that said he was through

Now he’s gone, shall I miss him?
It’s no longer a concern
I’ve got a bottled bargain
I’ve got the bastard in an urn

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