I Have A Problem

I’m going to talk about my trial
You might find the matter rather vile
I haven’t had a crap in a while
It’s just pile upon pile upon pile

I sit down on the toilet seat
I gaze at my disillusioned feet
All I want to do is excrete
But this arse is living on Mean Street

I’ve taken figs, prunes, even castor oil
But nothing seems to be of avail
Not going is really taking its toil
When your anus is always off the boil

To be honest, I need a friend
To thrust a fist into my end
I know it’s not very nice
Okay, then, what’s your advice?

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