I am a person most afflicted
My wife has just had me evicted
I’m now living in the shed
There’s no cooker, no toilet and no bed

She said she’s fed up with my dirt
‘What dirt?’ All the stuff I squirt
‘Let’s face it, you’re a pervert, Bert”
You know… that really hurt

I used to be such a big cheese
Others, I had them on their knees
But some women, you just can’t please
You’d think I’d got some disease!

But of course it’s early days
One of us has to change her ways
Perhaps she’s going through a phase
When I’m back I’ll see the bitch obeys


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