The Big Dipper

A contraceptive should be protective
But a hole – it could happen
A stretch mark in the rubber
At least that’s what I reckon

And me, I’m sorry, am big
Always splitting insides
Sex with me is like having a jig
Burst seams and a lot besides

But I’m not one in for johnnys
I insist they’re on the pill
Who needs a load of worries
If they aint, they’ll get no fill

I’m known as the Big Dipper
And it won’t be an easy ride
With a chopper like Jack the Ripper
They’ll soon be old and tried

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