Shuffling Waffler

I think I’m wearing myself out
I listen to far too much waffle
It’s hard to avoid, people shout
Quite frankly, it’s fucking awful

Most of my troubles are domestic
From her, I hear a load of piffle
The words I’d say would be dramatic
But there’s too many feathers to ruffle

And her walk – huh! – is never a walk
It’s more like a Harlem shuffle
‘Miss Piggy, a snuffling lump of pork!’
To say so would cause a kerfuffle

She began to sing ‘Love Me Tender’
Sorry, that was too much for me
I rushed out and went on a bender
Tell me where is the Land of the Free!

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