Polar Preacher

I am a missionary
I preach to polar bears
Where there’s no risk of dysentery
to catch them unawares

I tell them that God is white
Just like them, and pure
I intend to spread the light
and avoid their manure

I clue them in on Climate Change
Before the ice caps melt
Warm them when they’re in shooting range
From those after their pelt

I dress like an Eskimo
to make them feel at home
No, I’m not Geronimo
I’m from the Church of Rome

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